you're the only thing that i can throw away

hidupku sedang ngga baik-baik aja sejak akhir november. aku kehilangan semuanya. padahal, di awal sampai di pertengahan november, aku masih ngerasa semuanya baik-baik aja. sampai akhirnya malam terakhir kita ketemu, everything started going downfall. 

i am currently going some bad, really bad things right now and all i need just your arms, but you were never there. you always tell me, "i am here, i am always here," but you're not. 

aku pengen ngelepas kamu, tapi aku ga sanggup. when i am not looking through our pictures, everything seems so easy. leaving you and this world seems so easy to me. but, when i am looking back to those pictures, my heart hurts. i still want to live. i still want to be with you one more time. i still want to see you one more time. 

bim, what should i do? 

i am afraid, i don't wanna die. what should i do.. 

if only i can tell you what i am going through right now. if only life get easier. if only.. 

i am still here for what ifs, for every good things that may happen, for every good things that i believe will come sooner. i am still here, cause i still haven't tell you how i love you so much after all of the things we're going through. i am still here, cause i still want to hold you one more time.

this is the first time, i am having a will to live, i want to stay alive, for the probability of meeting the person that i love. 

lucu rasanya soalnya hidupku sendiri aja lagi berantakan banget. buat ngurusin hidupku sendiri aja aku nangis-nangis setiap hari. tapi, cuma gara-gara satu orang, aku setiap hari minta ke Tuhan supaya aku tetep punya keinginan buat hidup biar kita bisa ketemu lagi.